I've been trying out this new thing. It's called being.
Sometimes God, in His grace, allows us to see the sin in our lives before someone else brings it to our attention. Other times, in His grace, He allows a brother or a sister to call us out on our sin.
I've been experiencing God's grace in the latter, being called out (of course wishing for the former), and finding that there is sweetness in a lesson you feel you've learned 100 times before. Sweetness isn't quite the word I'm looking for, but with this headache, it will have to do.
I guess what I'm realizing goes back to that one night in my bunk bed, junior year of college. My best friend confronted me (I almost got sucked into reading old posts just now :), after the lights were out, about some sin in my life. Now, years later, I find myself in a similar situation and feeling the same relief and blessing wash over me. The God of all peace promises to restore it in our lives if we confess to one another. 1 John 1:8-9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
As a child memorizing this verse, I focused on the confessing. Now, as I read it, I see God's faithfulness. That when we confess, God will forgive AND purify us from all unrighteousness. There is such freedom here!
So, this is where I sit. I think my inspiration is drained. What is precious, though, every morning now, is waking up to smile at the Lord. He knows me - really knows me. And I know that He loves me enough to let me be refined in this way. So, I'm working on just being with Him. Hopefully I'll soak up strength and wisdom and courage in the process.
In the meantime, while I'm doing all this learning, God is blessing me beyond IMAGINATION with these absolutely amazing students. Here is Alexandra. She is one of the reasons I love my elective. We decided to make a cartoon series with my computer one day and this is what happen. I think it has definite flip-book potential!
I see her face, a goofy smile plasters itself across my gringa cheeks and I instinctively rush for a hug. Ale is reaching out, questioning, wondering, and seeking. She won't settle for opinions or rumors. She wants the real, hard stuff of Truth. I'm praying her right on to that narrow path.