Need my coffee!
Had a great day with Ruth Ann and Roman on Monday, and spent Tuesday and Wednesday with my PT nanny family, so I'm just now getting back to the blogging board from the romper room to try and put more of my mission trip into words.
The mission trip was a like a fast track out of my comfort zone. Not just because it was in an area of the US that feels like a foreign land, but because for being such a spontaneous gal, I'm extremely structured in some parts of my life. Like my morning ritual. Wake up early, read bible, make healthy breakfast and coffee, get ready for the day. It takes about 2 hours, and it gets my day going RIGHT! I am being truthful when I say that the world is better for it, as my morning crankiness has 2 hours to be turned into Christ's love by the time the world meets my smiling face. :) Anyway, of course this was not the case in New Mexico. Facing a day of cooking, cleaning, child-teaching, insulating and building without my full mornings with the Lord was way out of anything I'd be comfortable with in "real life." But on a mission trip, you adapt.
I stumbled out of bed at 5:30 or 6, to rush to the kitchen to help our wonderful cook, Minerva, along with my team. With toothpaste crust flanking my mouth on either side, I tried follow simple directions without making a mess of everything or bursting out in tears from exhaustion and lack of "me" time. In my normal life, this would have made for a do-over day. You know, one of those days where you just want to go back to bed as soon as possible and wake up tommorow? Anyway, not an option on the mission field. So, you stumble through tasks, hoping for understanding for those around you, and use the bathroom as your pull-it-together spot. No one likes to wake up this early and work in the kitchen, not the head cook, not even the morning people. But you do what has to be done. You work because people need to eat- they need to eat so that they can serve the Lord by working hard all day long. So you do what needs to be done.
Along with the bathroom God-chats, I pulled into the reserve of hymns, memorized verses, and the Holy Spirit within me, and He was faithful. Faithful to fill me with His Spirit, faithful to work in this unworthy vessel.
Now that I'm writing about this, it really makes me a little embarrassed of how incredibly spoiled I am. Not just in material possessions, but in my walk with God. I have gotten used to a certain amount of time with Him, writing my prayers in my journal, no interruptions. So much so that if one little thing is off, it can throw off my whole day. How silly to think that if my journal is missing or an emergency happens, that I can't spend quality time with the Lord! I have Him with me- we can speak anytime! I have hidden (not much, but some!) his Word in my heart, and that is always with me! Faith is not about a "God-time." That's one lesson that the mission trip taught me. It's listening when he is speaking, instead of doing all the talking. It's about a wild adventure that he's taking me on, and not a 1 hour box that I put him in. Faith is about me, giving up me, over and over, and asking Him to take charge.
Lord, take charge today. Take this day and make it yours. I give this whole day to you, and everything in it. Not one hour, or one journal entry, or one chunk of scripture. This whole day. Fill me with your spirit and teach me in your word. Help me to give over more and more. Help me to become more like you. You are good.