Headed for a Breakdown

I'm more than headed there - I think I've parked and lost the keys (which would NOT be surprising, because lately I have darn near watched things disappear right before my eyes).

My mind feels like a webpage - so many stimulating, flashy buttons and colors. I don't know where to go next or what to push. I am scrolling up and down for the information I need, but I realize I'm not on the right site at all and when I try to backtrack I come to deadends. Stress? Sure, probably. Anxiety about graduation? Not completely sure. Just plain old misdirected energy? For certain.

The more crowded the pages of my mind become, the less I turn to the only Source for peace. We all know where that leads you: to the breakdown dead-end with no keys, no excuses, and no good reason to be asking for or accepting pity.

Let's be straight about this, folks. At this point, all I need is a good talking to - the old fashioned kind that grandmother's would lovingly give when they found out you'd been taking "breaks" from helping in the garden to sneak cookies in the kitchen. But don't worry - I'm managing a pretty good war of words in my own mind, admonishing, advising, and alerting when I stray.

Oh, how I wish I could actually sit and think... and then type. I know it would be more productive and useful - and FUN - I so enjoy a good romp on the open-air, word terrain (see, it's times like these that even you wish I had more time!). But, I have officially self-diagnosed (something you're never supposed to do) myself with ADD and I must return to a psychology lab report.

I did have a wonderful chat with my sister today - it's amazing that even states away God can give us experiences and lessons that encourage and build up one another. She seems to be thriving as only a well-dressed, office cubicle up-and-comer ought to be. The joy and pride she finds in her work speaks so much of her character... but I also have to smile to myself because I've seen glimpses of big and bold dreams coming from that girl that I can't wait to see unfold!

My mom had contest today for her students and my thoughts drift back to when I would tag along, her cloth music bag on my left shoulder, heavy with contest pieces. I always tried to be thumbing through important papers or adding a clever remark about judges, contests, or sound-proof rooms. I absolutely loved those times - so special! We would drive the school bus home and we would go through each student's performance, naysaying judges and praising the hard work of her tight-knit group. A teacher could not be more fond or attached! Go Cougar Vocal!
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See - I AM distracted!