emotions run amuck

Well, I caught myself today a few times - surprised at how things that grate on my nerves can result in bitterness, like the taste in your mouth when you wake up (ick).

My thoughts lately have literally been all over the place. A piece of my heart was in Iowa last night for Bethany Camp's first fairwell potluck of the summer - where my bro is in charge. While they were celebrating a week of kids learning, growing and having great fun, I was applying for another (yes, another) waitressing job at a little place called 'Til Midnight. I retreated to their Bakery/Deli after dropping off my application, immediately warming to the thought of hot coffee, open space, and my first date with my journal in a long time. This whole technologically controlled diary is a great idea, but there's something about 'penning' my thoughts that's more than justnm a romantic notion.

Last Sunday, I visited a new church called Harvest Christian Fellowship. I have been going to the same church for a couple years, but I haven't felt like I've really spread roots (even though, oddly enough I am collecting the offering for the 10:30 service, where over 300 people attend). So, this E. Free church is in the next town over and refreshingly far enough from the monstrosities that are the churches I have found here. I have worked very hard to understand and enjoy that the body of Christ has a beautiful variety as far as churches go, but I also know that there is a place where each person fits. I filled out the guest info, met the pastor, and enjoyed the whole worship service, which was held in the area elementary school gym. I'm praying for God's direction in this, because my heart is to grow in a local church and be able to share my gifts.

Maybe a random switch, but I've got to go with what I got:).... The other day I was thinking about my funeral. Actually I think about my funeral quite often, the music, Scripture, and people. I mentioned this to the girls I work with on paint crew and they, too said they'd thought of this. I started to think: self, you aren't nearly as odd as you pride yourself in being. Really, for all the crazy things I think of, deep or merely skimming the surface, there are so many others with the same ideas... and many more with better ideas, philosophies, and thoughts.

I don't quite know where or how to continue. I have been blessed by memorizing some Scripture lately. One of my new favorites is 2 Corinthians 9:8, "God is able to make all grace abound, so that in all things and at all times, having everything you need, you will abound in every good work."

I've tried to think and pray this short reminder that God's grace sufficiently covers those annoyances, my bitterness, and my downer days. He is ALL of that AND He makes His grace available in ALL things and at ALL times so that nothing is lacking except my own will in doing good works. That is the only piece He hasn't touched. And don't we know that since our hearts are softened by His Spirit our good work are for and from Him?

I have felt the distance from my family lately. As well as my friends spread across the country in NY, IN, and IA. But I'm excited to see my mom, aunt Shirley, and grandparents soon.

Oh, one last tidbit... I have been studying up on Poland (and starting the countdown til August 2) and have found such interesting information. Most recently that the music of Chopin comes from the country. I can't wait to see what else is in store :) The phrases are coming along - my grandpa thinks I need to know things like "Where's the bathroom" instead of "I love you," which is the first phrase my friend taught me.
Tomorrow morning, my professor is having a garage sale and thought I could do a lemonade/bake sale to fund raise - so that's where I'll be until 11:30, where I discover the world of double shifts in the waitressing world. I'm already thinking of the sleep I'll fall into after that's all over.

P.S. the weather is absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful summer.