So, I woke up groggy today - the kind of groggy that takes a few groans and stretches to successfully escape morning's clinging clutches. Walking around in this new slightly-less-nomadic skin has it's beautiful charms and strange discomforts. My clothes are folded frumpy in a sweet smelling wooden dresser, my suitcases sit empty in the closet, and my car eddie is almost a local on these streets.
Settling in feels like crawling out of an old skin - one that knew many houses and couches and faces in this in-between phase of transition. I might have become a little addicted to "never a dull moment" and "expect the unexpected," even if it meant never having a routine.
Now, I arrive at that place where my days are more predictable and I find myself distinctly aware of the temptation to be comfortable.
For a brief moment in time, I've got a blank slate of Sunday - Saturday.
The white space stares up at me with all sorts of exciting and intimidating possibilities. I realize this can be one of those pregnant moments where I choose something brilliant. I can be someone new in this place - become "that person" I've been wandering around searching for in the past few months. I can lead groups and join clubs and serve food every third Saturday and bake for the elderly on the second Monday.
I've always bristled a bit at the idea of "programs." Though I've certainly participated in my share (and led several as well), somewhere in my groggy beginning to this day I decided that I want to start this less-than-nomadic page of my life by making life my program.
I don't want to join groups of Christian folks trying to mirror similar secular groups. I don't want to arrange my life to appear effective and busy and spiritually productive. I don't want to jump on a moving train with "Christianity" emblazoned on the side rushing toward an ambiguous destination.
I want to join life.
I want to know my neighbors. I want to be in a writers' group. I want to be friends with Spanish speakers. I want to make bread. I want to break bread with new friends. I want to find out where the loners hang out. I want to be a good citizen - an excellent one. I want to meet the children.
I want to live.
Can I join this program? Does it have to happen through expected Christian communities? I'm not sure yet.
Dorothy Sayers said, "The only Christian work is good work, well done."
This is the work of my new non-nomadic life. Lord help me find good work and set about to do it excellently.
let LOVE fly like cRaZy