That's right. There's a full moon. I'm celebrating with my second cup of lemon tea and a bit of mission trip planning. I can truthfully say I am equal parts exhausted, joyful, sad, and hopeful. If you throw that in a recipe, I think you might get me sitting on this couch with Phil Wickham singing with serious gumption from my computer and a lot of jumbled thoughts in my head.
I'm glad you don't have the recipe, actually, because I don't think I would want to create this mix of emotions again. I guess it's one of those never-wish-it-like-this BUT glad-it's-here type of things. God is so good to bring about the things we would never think to ask or want because He knows we will cling to Him all the tighter for it.
I think love makes a person sad, but not in the lame, mopey way. I think love makes a person sad because the tighter we allow ourselves to hold onto people, the more we realize how fragile they (and we) are.
Sometimes I hate it that I can't fix things. I hate that I can't make every sad moment better or every bad day brighter. If I could, I'd have a smooth solution for every mess in the lives of the people I love. But, though it's hard to want, I know the process is more precious and powerful than a smooth solution. I know we are being refined and God is being glorified. I know that simply 'making things better' is not what this faith journey is about.
We have eternity set in our hearts and it doesn't sit so well in this world for a reason. We have a citizenship in heaven, where God has a forever of BEST planned.
I am praying that this strange, beautiful mix of emotions points to the forever of BEST. I am praying that the sad songs my heart plays are because I want the people I love to join me in that forever. I am praying that the joyful swirls my spirit dances are because my delight comes from that same forever place.
Hmph. Words won't do. I'll blame it on the moon.
let LOVE fly like cRaZy!